Why wasn’t my prayer answered?
What went wrong?
Many people, whether believers or unbelievers, are familiar with the following passage of scripture found in the New Testament:
Matthew 7:7-9
7 Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:
8 For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.
These instructions seem very clear that if you ask God, he will give to you what you ask for, and this is the basis for what many understand as how God answers prayer. So it is that many test this scripture, some finding it true, some finding it isn’t satisfactory, and others find their lack of satisfaction as proof that God does not exist.
Let us be clear, however, in understanding that God is not our servant, nor is he like the mythological genie whose lamp we can rub and get our wishes granted just because we asked. God is an infinite (everywhere present), eternal (forever existing), omniscient (knows all things), omnipotent (all powerful), and all wise (intelligent) being. God is not a being to be trifled with, nor can he be “fooled” by tricks or playing with words.
When Jesus told his disciples "Ask, and it shall be given you," we must understand that he was speaking with believers - people who wanted to hear what he had to say, not unbelievers. He was not speaking to people who wanted to test whether he existed, or whether he would be able to fulfill his promises. If we take Jesus’ words out of context, we could be manipulated to believe many things they were never intended to mean.
Those who are atheists or who believe the scriptures are allegorical and not strictly true may say, "Jesus didn't say it was contingent on whether you believed or not; if you pray and you don’t get what you pray for, Jesus was a liar." Yet Jesus also said the following:
Matthew 7:21-23
21 Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.
22 Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.
Therefore we can know assuredly that Jesus meant believers who obeyed him, and not just those who claim they are believers or who claim that they were genuine in their “test” of his promise. Jesus himself was tempted on this premise:
Matthew 4:5-7
5 Then the devil taketh him up into the holy city, and setteth him on a pinnacle of the temple,
6 And saith unto him, If thou be the Son of God, cast thyself down: for it is written, He shall give his angels charge concerning thee: and in their hands they shall bear thee up, lest at any time thou dash thy foot against a stone.
7 Jesus said unto him, It is written again, Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God.
This was not an admission of inadequacy on the part of Jesus. When Satan tempted Jesus he was attempting to subvert Jesus by misapplying scripture. So it is for many who believe they are “testing” God: they are misapplying the scripture to suite their own agenda, not realizing that God has his own agenda. This is equivalent to tempting God.
If you fall into this category then you should not expect to receive your “wishes” to be fulfilled by prayer, and you should repent of this.
But what if I really do believe in the promise of Jesus?
Each of us in our lives likely arrives at a point when we really desire something and believe it is good, and will pray for that to be given to us. There are several things to consider though, and they are worth consideration:
- Are you asking out of fear or desperation, or that you can give this a shot to see if it will help?
James 1:6-8
6 But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed.
7 For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord.
8 A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.
- Are you asking for something to satisfy your own personal interests, or are you asking out of love?
James 4:3 Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts.
- Do you know if what you are asking for is right, or just that you have hope it will be fulfilled?
3 Nephi 8:50-51
50 And it came to pass that when Jesus had spoken these words unto his disciples, he turned again unto the multitude and said unto them, Behold, verily, verily, I say unto you, Ye must watch and pray always, lest ye enter into temptation;
51 For Satan desireth to have you, that he may sift you as wheat; therefore, ye must always pray unto the Father in my name; and whatsoever ye shall ask the Father in my name, which is right, believing that ye shall receive, behold, it shall be given unto you.
Jesus makes it clear that prayer is not just a tool to get whatever you want. You must first examine what you want to pray about to make sure it is not just a personal whim, or that it is something that - if fulfilled - would give you a chance to promote yourself (or others), or that would give you something you do not need. When you pray, do you truly believe that you will receive, or are you using it as an opportunity to test whether God will do as you ask? Lastly, is what you are praying for something that is right? In other words, if you ask for someone to be punished, or if you ask for something bad to happen to someone, or if you ask that everyone in the world should be healed; is it right to ask for those things, or is it ultimately a flawed request?
God is a not a wish box that can be tricked into doing something that he knows better about.
Prayer is a powerful tool, but it does not operate independently of your faith, or of your choices in life, or of your desires. Jesus explained that to his disciples,
Matthew 17:19-20
19 Then came the disciples to Jesus apart, and said, Why could not we cast him out?
20 And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.
Luke 17:6 And the Lord said, If ye had faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye might say unto this sycamine tree, Be thou plucked up by the root, and be thou planted in the sea; and it should obey you.
This serves to illustrate that even if your desires are pure and it is the right thing, and it is God’s will, if your faith is not sure it will not be done. Something as powerful as moving mountains, casting out devils, healing the sick, raising the dead, or the working of various kinds of miracles cannot be placed into the hands of someone that merely recites words. God is not like the devil; God requires faith with a willing heart.
Do these things seem like a lot of conditions for prayer to be answered? It might to some, but the intention of prayer is to communicate truly and sincerely with an almighty being, and this is not an action to be trifled with by vanity, unbelief, ulterior motives, or hopelessness.
Besides these things, one other item deserves careful understanding and attention. There are times when God’s will must be understood to have a different solution than what you may specifically request. King David proposed to build a temple for the God of Israel, which was a noble desire, and ultimately one God would approve of, but David was told “no,” because although David desired to do this, it was God’s will for his son Solomon to do it instead. David did not entirely get what he wanted, but it was sufficient for him.
In other words, sometimes the answer to a prayer request is “no” not because of anything particularly flawed about the prayer, the faith of the one asking, the desire for good, etc., but because God has something else in mind which is ultimately better.
All of these things being said, many times the answer is “Yes!” The apostles went out from Jesus and preached the gospel, performed many miracles such as healing the sick, raising the dead, casting out devils and convincing thousands of the truth of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. They that followed the teachings and doctrine of Jesus were themselves the recipients of many of these gifts, each of which came about as a result of prayer and faith.
The history of the church of Jesus Christ is filled with examples of the “prayer of faith” bringing about many wonderful and precious blessings from God. We need only to read from Hebrews chapter 11 and James chapter 5 in the New Testament to see how faith and prayer worked hand-in-hand through the ages to bring about much good.
Hebrews 11:29-35
29 By faith they passed through the Red sea as by dry land: which the Egyptians assaying to do were drowned.
30 By faith the walls of Jericho fell down, after they were compassed about seven days.
31 By faith the harlot Rahab perished not with them that believed not, when she had received the spies with peace.
32 And what shall I more say? for the time would fail me to tell of Gedeon, and of Barak, and of Samson, and of Jephthae; of David also, and Samuel, and of the prophets:
33 Who through faith subdued kingdoms, wrought righteousness, obtained promises, stopped the mouths of lions.
34 Quenched the violence of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, out of weakness were made strong, waxed valiant in fight, turned to flight the armies of the aliens.
35 Women received their dead raised to life again: and others were tortured, not accepting deliverance; that they might obtain a better resurrection:
James 5:13-18
13 Is any among you afflicted? let him pray. Is any merry? let him sing psalms.
14 Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord:
15 And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up; and if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him.
16 Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.
17 Elias was a man subject to like passions as we are, and he prayed earnestly that it might not rain: and it rained not on the earth by the space of three years and six months.
18 And he prayed again, and the heaven gave rain, and the earth brought forth her fruit.
In each of these they describe those who were of great faith, and how they prayed for the things which were good in the sight of God. When we pray it is just as often the things we do receive that we forget to acknowledge, and often this is because we do not realize it has been fulfilled. As we reflect upon those answered prayers it builds our faith and humbles us to realize that God is true to his word, and it helps us to realize that he is truly more than what we can imagine with our limited minds.
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